So... I've decided Cheryl isnt the girl of my dreams. Which leaves me in a weird place since... Ive always had a girl to dream about. It used to be Wife but as her love for me cooled, my passion was fanned elsewhere. Sometimes online, sometimes in life but there was always something. Now there is nothing. It's like a flame in the middle of a cold lonely desert.I came to the conclusion about Cheryl when I sent her some songs that were very meaningful to me by a band I just discovered. I gave her a few days and when I saw her tonight, I asked what she thought. She said she hadnt listened and seldom listened to anything I sent. I then went to play it for her and she shut down my stereo in a playful way. Only for the first time... I wasn't amused. I wanted to share something that has been haunting me for days. I asked for 3 minutes of her time and she wouldnt grant it.
The same went with Wife. I sent her the song and while she did listen to it, she only listened to about 30 or 40 seconds then lost interest. Since when is a request of three minutes to much to ask someone you feel close to. Fuck, people give that to telemarketers they are too polite to hang up on.
The sun is coming up now and dawning a very uncertain time for me, though only you and I know that, or are likely to. All the people that are supposed to be very concerned with my life, are barely interested. Even one of the great people I knew online doesnt talk to me anymore... which is par for the course I guess with online pals.
Kiss me like the final meal
Kiss me like we die tonight
I want someone to make me feel like that. Does it exist? I really don't know anymore.
On a side note, Wife slept in my bed last night... but only for a bit, since I always work nights. Nothing happened but it was nice to feel not so alone...
- Mouse
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